


She's No You.

by lavenderhoneymndes



Category: Shawn Mendes (Musician)
Genre: Best Friends, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Pining, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:07:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22296820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavenderhoneymndes/pseuds/lavenderhoneymndes
Summary: Shawn feels things he probably shouldn't.
Relationships: Shawn Mendes/Reader, Shawn Mendes/You
Kudos: 12





	She's No You.

Friday nights with Shawn had been spent the same way for the last four years. The two of you binging shitty horror films on Netflix with pizza (usually his treat, but always the same place) and alcohol. Beer for him and wine for you. It was a tradition, that stood strong through everything, thunderstorms, finals, and relationships because no matter what, he came first. And he felt the same for you.

You haven't been able to see each other all week due to the craziness that was the start of a new semester so when Friday night came around both of you were stoked. It was around terrible remake number two that Shawn turned to you, with the look he only gave you when he was about to ask for you to finish an assignment for him.

“Is it weird that I miss you more than I miss Melissa?”

“What do you mean?”

You shimmy away, burying yourself further into your side of the couch and your heart is pounding in your ears. Part of you knows where this conversation is going, and you weren’t ready for it.

“I have been locked away in the library all week, hardly had enough time to even call my mom,” he laughs looking down playing with his ring, “but you’re the one I called first. I haven’t talked to Melissa in days, which I’m sure is driving her crazy. But the moment I had a chance, I called you first.”

“You shouldn't say things like that.”

You get up from the couch and start busying yourself with clearing the few beer bottles and paper plates on your table. There wasn’t much to clean, but it got you up, and away from Shawn’s eyes that were glued to you, waiting for answers you couldn’t give him.

“Why?”

“Because - it’s...she's your girlfriend.” You whispered through gritted teeth like it was some sort of secret.

“But it's the truth,” he sat up on the couch, leaning forward elbows on his knees as he looked at you from across your coffee table, “With you, everything is so easy. For one, you actually care about what I have to say, and you’re so patient with me with my anxiety and stuff. You’re so sweet and funny, and you get my sense of humor. I’m comfortable with you.”

He was being so calm about this, it was beginning to concern you. You knew Shawn. He was an over-thinker. For him to be this calm talking about something this serious he’d had to go over it a thousand times in his head. The number of mirror conversations he’d probably had, to prepare for this moment.

The scarier this was, so had you.

“Shawn what your saying...you don’t mean that.”

“Yes. Yes, I do.”

There are a few moments, of silence, you still flitting around your apartment, picking up things that don’t really need picking up and trying to think of a way to change the subject. When you can’t think of anything you just go to the kitchen to refill your wine.

“What is with you? You’re the one that said it was a bad idea to get involved with her in the first place.” He snapped.

“Yeah well, she grew on me.”

“Grew on you?”

You were back peddling. The truth was you hated the girl. She was bitchy, boring and never seemed to be happy about anything. Nothing Shawn did, the cute little notes, the gifts ‘just because’, none of them put so much as a smirk on her face. She didn’t deserve him, and deep down he knew that too.

But you had mutual friends, and somehow he got roped into a relationship with her. Everyone thought they would make an ‘adorable’ so they became one. It was weird social politics.

Once you’ve got your wine glass refilled (more than necessary) you take your seat back on the couch, leaving a safe distance between you and Shawn.

“Whether I like her or not is irrelevant. You're in a relationship, you shouldn't be saying shit like that to me.”

“Well, what if I don't want to be?”

The words came out so quick you didn’t think you’d heard him right.

“What?”

“What if I’d rather be with you.”

You nearly choke on your sip of wine. He can’t be serious? He’s stressed and had a few beers. He can’t be saying what you think he is.

“You don't mean that.”

“Stop doing that! Don't tell me what I want. I'm sitting here telling you I want you, that I have feelings for you and -”

“You're in a relationship! I'm not gonna help you cheat.”

“What? No, that’s not what I'm asking!”

“That’s it's exactly what your asking”

He takes a few breaths, before closing the space between the two of you on the couch, and you retreat further into your side. You’d never pulled away from Shawn before, ever. It felt wrong, but your head was spinning.

“No, I’m not. I’m - I’m saying, if you’ll have me, I’ll break it off with her.”

“You won’t.” You say it almost as a dare.

You can’t believe what it is he’s saying, it’s exactly what you’ve wanted to hear for months - years now. None of it seems real.

“I mean it. I’ve always wondered why I can't just - be happy in a relationship. Why I can never fully be _with_ someone. It’s because I only want to be with you. Your the only one I can fully be myself with, the only one I want to be myself with. You know me, and you can call me out on my bullshit. I don’t want to be with anyone else.”

With each word, Shawn spoke you felt every brick from the wall you’d built around yourself all one by one. He’d always had that effect on you. Making you feel comfortable, like no matter what you’d do or say you wouldn't be judged. You could always count on Shawn to make you feel like you mattered as if someone cared for you.

And here he was pouring his heart out to you, and you couldn’t think of anything to say. All you could do was cry.

“Honey…”

“No, no. I’m fine. Gosh, I’m so stupid.”

“No your not, don’t say that.” He whispers, pulling you into a hug. His hand rubbing soothing circles over your back.

“Do you really mean it?”

“Of course I do. I don’t know why I didn’t say anything sooner but, yeah. I have feelings for you. Always have.”

The ‘L’ word lingered on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it. Not yet at least.

“You’ve got shitty timing.” You smile through a sniffle.

“Yeah, I know. But better late than never, right?”

He lays the two of you back down on your couch, you curled up on his chest. It’s not the strangest thing in the world, the two of you have shared many cuddles before this, but this one felt different. Warmer.

“When are you going to tell her?” you say, just over a whisper.

“First chance I get tomorrow.”

“She’s going to throw a real fit.”

You can see it now. Shawn will go in, talking about his feelings and she’ll twist it so it’s all about her, and her feelings when she’s never given a second thought about Shawns’ since the started dating. You couldn’t count the number of times she’d missed Shawn perform at open mics’ because she’s ‘busy’. Shawn never brought it up to her, because he knew it’d end in a fight, but you saw how upset he was and it broke your heart.

“She’ll be fine. She cares more about her image than me anyway. She’ll get over it.”

“And us?”

He pulls you out of his chest, looking down at you with the goofiest grin on his face.

“What about us?”

“How is this going to work?”

“I think we should take it slow like anything else. A friendship is different than a relationship and, I don’t want to ruin what we have ya know? I want to do this right.”

You look up at him with a fondest of smiles. How he manages to always say the right thing will never stop amazing you.

“Is that okay with you?” he smirks, giving you a little squeeze.

“Sounds perfect.”


End file.
